She hates him, he knows.
He can see it in her eyes,
Vicious, venomous
Fiery forests, angry green.
She hates him.
I did not kill your master, he tells her,
But she does not believe him.
He wants her to listen, to
Let go of her hate.
But he has been hated before,
Often, and deeply.
He is no stranger to hatred, but
Strangely,
Hers hurts him.
(Why? Why does it hurt?)
Her mind is closed;
She will not listen.
I did not kill your master, he says,
But she waves her blaster, and
Pushes him onward.
ii.
It beckons him seductively,
This goal he seeks,
Palpatine's permanent death, and
His pain-filled Empire gone with him.
It is absolutely
Necessary.
(So the ends justify the means?)
He does what he can,
Everything he can.
And he has the strength,
Simmering beneath his skin,
Waiting for him
To use it.
(Should you use it?)
And why shouldn't he take advantage of
Everything he has?
He is alone.
Everyone refuses to train with him,
Learn from him, help him with
His dream of recreating the Jedi.
Dev died, and Leia, Corran,
And Mara
Refuse to help.
He is alone.
(Are you really?)
He does what he must to
Protect what is his.
And he will do
Everything he must.
iii.
She doesn't hate him anymore
--or at least, he doesn't think so
though sometimes it's hard to tell.
He sees her sometimes
Eyeing him, strangely,
Warm and cold and
Somewhere in between.
(Are your feelings more clear?)
She hides herself, from him,
From everyone,
But sometimes there are flashes
Of compassion, patience,
Her capacity for loyalty.
He is constantly intrigued,
And wants to know more.
And he thinks that, somehow,
She sees flashes of him, too.
He hides in plain sight,
Aspects of him shoved forward so that
Others can hold back.
Few look past to
The things that he would hide.
But she--
She sees him.
(What does she see when she looks at you?)
So when she snubs him,
As she so often does,
It hurts.
She rejects him, continually,
His offers of training
And friendship.
She's there if he needs her,
If he really needs her,
But, otherwise--
She slips away so easily.
It hurts.
iv.
An instant, expanded, and
He knows her now, knows her,
As she knows him.
The two of them, melded, woven together,
Unexpected, not deliberate, but
Also not unwelcome.
He's not alone anymore.
Thoughts shared so easily that
It's difficult to tell where they originate.
Has he ever been this close to anyone before?
Not to Ben, or to Yoda, or even Father.
Nor to Leia, though his bond to her is
The closest point of reference he has.
But this is new.
The strength of it pounds through him,
Her strength,
Bolstering his own.
They fight as one, think as one,
For a moment breathe as one.
For all intents and purposes,
They are one, just
Split into two bodies, and, funnily,
It feels strange
To not be connected to her body
As he is to her mind.
Not yet, at least.
A passing thought.
Hers or his? Or
Does it even matter?
He knows how she feels about him,
Knows, without the uncertainty that
He would normally feel.
There's emotion there, inside her, that
Existed before this melding, but
That only now he can see.
(What are you going to do with this new knowledge?)
And here, here,
In the space between an instant's passing,
He knows what he will do.
v.
She sleeps, deathly pale,
Tossing and turning, unable
To find a moment of
True rest.
Her mouth is open, her breathing loud,
Panting, gasping for air.
Little sighs and tiny moans
Escape her periodically.
He watches.
What can I do? he wants to ask her.
What will you let me do?
Swallow your pride, love,
It isn't worth your life.
I have to deal with it on my own, she says.
Give me space,
Give me time.
I won't let it defeat me.
But he wants to help her,
As she so often has helped him.
Always she has given him
What he's needed, from
Normal interaction to
A dose of reality to
A love that completes him.
And he wants,
So desperately,
To give her what she needs in return.
But she won't let him, and he feels so
Helpless.
It took him years to discover that
His pride led him down the wrong path--
He doesn't want her to
Make the same mistake.
(What will you do if you lose her?)
Let me help, he wants to say.
Let me give everything I have--
It's all yours, anyway.
Just don't make me watch as you fade away!
vi.
Never would he have thought
That the first cry of a newborn baby
Could cause his heart to leap about
Like nothing else could.
New life, here,
An extraordinary thing,
That wailing cry undeniable evidence
Of its existence.
Mara lives, and Ben, too,
Ready to meet the world
For the very first time,
With a red and scrunched-up face.
He is the most beautiful thing in the galaxy.
He's perfect, Luke whispers, and
She smiles at him, full of
Exhaustion and lingering pain,
But, surrounding everything,
Happiness.
(How many times have you given up your dream of this?)
His happiness, too,
His joy, his exhilaration.
He has a child, a son,
The living embodiment of
The love that he shares with Mara.
And there is love here, so much,
Too much not to share.
It is everything.
And he knows that here, with his wife,
And his son,
It will always be
Everything.